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Last December a family member of mine died in a really awful way, and yes, it made the papers. The cops in our town did nothing to solve what really happened to her, and in short, the situation was not only severely heartbreaking, but permanently unsolved. In going back to look at the articles online, I happened upon a user on this site b1gfan, who wrote a poem about my cousin Laura. He did not know her, and has 7 pages of "Good job! You should publish this!" kind of notes.

Now, I felt uncomfortable about running across this, and my family felt this was disrespectful. He didn't know her, but I didn't ask him to delete it, just to please not publish it. It's not nice to make a profit off of someone else's tragedy.

His response?

He BLOCKED ME from commenting. I think it's because I didn't commend him on his poetry. Then he hid anything we had said to each other.

So...I'm reposting the comment exchange here. Because that is bullshit.

I lost my first comment, but it ran along the lines of why did you write this, because I wanted to find out if he actually knew her.

His response was it was compelling, and why not...

Arsenicincoffee-
"Cause it's awkward for the family members when they happen upon such things."

b1gfan-
"I doubt that"

Arsenicincoffee-
"Well, then you are wrong. Laura was my cousin. I feel uncomfortable about this. I spent last Christmas working with my family to plan her funeral and deal with the aftermath of a pretty sad situation, so this sugar coated poem is just awkward. And I showed it to my family, and they aren't too pleased either. If you want to try and be compelling about a tragedy, use your own."

b1gfan-
"I am very sorry for your loss. In the midst of such trauma I can certainly see how you might be very sensitive about your cousin's passing.

In all fairness to my poem, I don't feel that your grief is allowing you to either read or critique it all that fairly, but I don't intend to be belligerent about it. If it hurts you I am sorry about that. It's not my intent"

Arsenicincoffee-
"I have done my grieving, it's my other family members that I am concerned about. I didn't critique your poem at all, what I am saying is I'm uncomfortable running across it. My family thinks that this poem is disrespectful, as you did not know Laura, and I'm here to request that if you do someday publish a book of poetry as others have encouraged you to in the comments on this, please do not use this poem."

b1gfan-
"With all due respect I can't and won't promise anything like that. I'm sorry for your family's loss, but it is a passing that is, to be frank, a matter of public record and on that level your cousin's experience is open to be shared by everyone and anyone who read the account published in the local news. As I'm sure you're well aware, people share in accounts of grief and loss all the time to which they are not attached by familial bonds. That's just part of .... (And then I can't read the rest of the comment...Cause he blocked me! And then hid our entire conversation!)

Turns out, thanks to a chat I had with a friend, in the state of California, when a person dies, their name and image are property of the family. Since her death was in the papers, and also televised, she technically got 15 minutes of fame, and therefore this situation does fall under that law, in case one would like to say this is just for celebrities. Since b1gfan has blocked me, I cannot inform him of this. But you can! Or you can tell him he really should of just agreed to not ever attempt to profit from this. Because...well...that would be against the law.

Just go here...[link]